No, it's not a tearing pain. It's like an aching tooth. Or a nail embedded in your sole. It hurts at every move, at every step. That's the kind of pain you feel when a friend betrays you. It IS so unfair because you know you don't deserve it. It is so confusing because you know that's not the way it should be, but it came to be. You really can never tell. An elderly friend of mine once said, you don't know the real motives of people who come into your life. Don't be surprised when they pull out a stunt. Just be ready when they do. But hey, that's easier said than done. We are always caught off-guard by these things. It's when you thought things are going so okay that the fiends strike. Yes, fiends. No longer friends. An unexpected blow from an unexpected source. Hits you white-hot in the jawline. and you get knocked out. Leaves you utterly dumbfounded. With the birds and the stars fluttering land twittering like crazy all over your head.
That's when the hurting starts. And it magnifies, and magnifies, and magnifies at every turn. There's the why, why, why...and then tears, anger, even loathing. Until you learn to accept it and try to deal with it. But of course, ties get broken. Even if apologies are given, it could never be the same ever again. There are relationships that are worth saving, and there are those that are not. It depends. Sometimes you just have to learn to let go lest you get hurt again. It's hard to trust again. Some bridges are best left to ashes. Some walls best kept up high. Some doors best kept shut. Until the right time, when all wounds are healed and the scars have faded to almost obscure.
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