Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Which Kind of Victim Are You

You can try to hurt my feelings, but that's all you can do.
You can get satisfaction out of it, but that's all you can have.
It can make you feel better for a while, but that's all that it lasts.
If by offending me you feel happy with yourself, then my dues are done.
I can look you straight in the eye, anytime, the guilt of offense isn't mine.---Espie Corpuz.

I posted this on Facebook sometime ago and not a few reacted positively to the message it brought forward. The posting was brought about by some little incidents in the past and present when certain individuals who feel that it's their duty in life to throw insults at me, did decide to be dutiful. The thing is, they're individuals whose presence or absence does not really make a dent in my own existence, even when they are being bitchy. My eyebrows raise to high heavens, my heart askance... "Now, what did I do to these people?" And that is what amuses me. They really do believe that what they have to say is a big factor in other people's lives. Call it the feeling of self-importance. I call it irrelevance.

But why a whole page on this matter? It's because, reading again the quote I made as well as the reactions to it, I did realize that this happens to everybody else in this oft-cruel world. The fact that there are individuals who enjoy hurting the feelings of others just for the heck of it, or probably because they woke up on the wrong side of the bed and fell hard on the floor that they wanted to exact revenge on whoever was in the way. Poor innocent people, the whiplash tongue spares no one.

And there are individuals who are being abrasive on purpose, because they want to create an impression of infallibility. Their philosophy, be out of character in order to build your character.

I see it as survivalism. A case of dog-eat-dog, or survival of the fittest kind of existence. But I don't believe it's moral to step on other people's feet in order to get ahead.

I see it as a feeling of self-importance. Sometimes there are people who feel that they, too, wield some power, because they are closer to God, or to the gods. "Ang langaw, pag nasampa sa likod ng kalabaw, ay mas mataas pa sa kalabaw," so goes the saying.

I see it, too, as a sign of insecurity.Why the need to prove you have character if you already have it? People who are confident of themselves do not need to keep barking in order to be noticed.

I see it, too, as escapism. People who are undergoing some emotional struggles need release. They believe the world owes them and must understand their nasty behavior because of what they are going through.

What do you call those sweet-talking maidens whose lips dripping with honey do effectively win gullible hearts, especially when up front; but as effectively up front as behind one's back, they are also able to churn out hurtful words and could easily douse off one's self-esteem?

There are some people who are subtle offenders. The lips are smiling but the tongue is wagging like some venomous snake. Well, subtle may not be the term. What could be worse than stealthy? Let me look up the proper term in the Thesaurus.

But what about the poor victims of such nastiness?

There are victims who would recoil, take insults to heart deeply, wallow in the pain and self-destruct. These are people who are weak in the core. People who have been kicked so hard they could barely stand up and defend themselves. These are the losers who are beat because they allow themselves to be.

There are those who would get hurt, but get over it and move on like nothing happened. With forgiveness or without, life goes on. They're the kind of people who are once bitten, twice shy. Or they're the kind who had become all the wiser for it.

And some even try to do better in order to show the offenders that the latter's challenges have been met, and how! These are the ones who, after having been licked, will not allow the world to see them stay that way. For them, becoming even better in life is the sweetest revenge.

And there are those who simply laugh it away, amused at the nasty people who come forward strongly like they were some demi-gods. This type of victims are not victims at all. They are victors in their own rights, and they know  exactly  where they stand. They know when their precious times are being wasted. And best of all, they know when to bark, especially when to bite.

Now, tell me, which kind of victim are you?

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